“They’re Attacking the Cleaning Robot”

That was among many, MANY queries that I used to try to discover this lost gem of a book called "Illegal Aliens". Written by Nick Pollotta & Phil Foglio, this book provided me with one of my most memorable interactions with Science-Fiction at the age of 9.

I’ve tried using open forums like The Verge and Google+ but I could never find anyone that could remember this title based off of the vague details that I handed them. I’ve used search engines off and on but I couldn’t remember any unique character names. I could remember actions like baseball shaped spaceship landing on the catcher in a baseball game but I couldn’t remember its’ name, All That Glitters. I remembered the gang that’s brought into the ship to fight to the death but not their name, The Bloody Deckers.

There’s a smart mouth alien that’s basically a sentient, evolved mushroom whose death is faked by humans and provided to the intergalactic police with a cunning replacement. Those same police are taken into captivity and the scientists brought in to monitor them knows that due to the size of their pupils that they can see through our two-way glass as if it was plastic. Then there are the escapades in space and the innovations the humans make and that damn roach world where you have to pay to breathe their smelly air. Sure, the heroes are allowed to temporarily breathe it for free but why bother?

Sorry if you’re interested in reading this for the first time, I’ve spoiled a lot but nowhere near everything in this post. This post has mostly been made to try to help others that are looking for it. The book had its’ first print in 1989 which was followed by a Russian translation in the next decade a reprint in the one following it. It sells, it makes money but it does so slowly but not too slowly since it has been reprinted and transferred into an ebook format. It’s available in Barne’s ‘N Nobles ebook store as well as Amazon’s Kindle store. I have a Nook HD and $10 in credit to spend, this book costs $2.99. It’s a no-brainer, consider it already bought by the time that you read this.

Expect to hear more on this great, satiric tale in the future. One last thing that I will share, I didn’t know it was satire when I originally read it. It was just interesting, sci-fi is a tool used for exploration in this novel with the characters and action taking the spotlight. That’s the way any good sci-fi story should work. People first and in the front, sci-fi as a tool that changes the context of their life and social issues. It’s part of what makes tales like Farenheit 451 and Parable of the Sower so darn interesting.


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